Time or Money, Choose One

I was talking with a sorority sister of mine this afternoon and when discussing her current relationship woes, the topic of time versus money came up.  Her assertion?  When dealing with a man, if he has lots of leisurely time to spend with you, he’s not making much money (because he’s not working hard enough to advance his career) and if he has any kind of money, he doesn’t have much time to spend with you (because he has a strong work ethic that is motivated by career advancement).  She believes we all have to choose… you can’t have both because it takes nearly all of your time to advance in your career and earn good money.  As for herself, she preferred dealing with a man who had time over the money, because as she put it, “I plan on making my own money.”

As soon as she explained that outlook it triggered my mind to conversations Shelby and I have had time and time again.  Over the years, she and I have spent countless hours dissecting our romantic relationships.  A reoccurring theme in majority of mine is the struggle I face in being attracted to hard-working men who don’t have time to spend on romantic relationships …especially with me.

Why is that?

Daddy issues.

I’m blessed to be able to say that my father was never absent from my life.  He always made sure he had a presence and was accessible to me.  On the other hand, he was also a VERY hard worker.  Growing up, he would rise before my siblings and I, prepare breakfast, iron our school clothes and get our baths/showers running before we had even opened our eyes.  After seeing us off to school, I might not see him again that day.  He would come home from work well past my bedtime and do it all over again the next day.  Monday through Friday that was the routine (occasionally he might come home early and I might get to see/talk to him then-it was such a treat).  Saturdays I might see him in the mornings before he raced off to the golf course and Sundays were family days.  I missed him…a lot.

Fast-forward to my life with men now that I’m in my mid-20s.

The men I’m attracted to don’t have time to spend on a relationship because they are driven mainly by their daily grind to “get money,” and advance in their careers….all in an effort to feel secure.  While they are aware of this restriction, they also have a “superman” complex where they pile more on their plate than they can chew, my relationship with them being part of that.

From here, the daily battle ensues.  I spend the duration of the relationship regulating an arbitrary schedule of our quality time that I have drilled into his head.  I refuse to allow him to miss scheduled phone calls, dates, events, etc.  To keep my mind off of his lack of time, I myself find tasks/passions/goals/commitments to occupy my time (because even though I’m in my mid-20’s I still have no clue what I want to spend my life doing other than knowing writing had better be a part of my job description).  We both wind up working ourselves to the bone, motivated by different reasons.

At times it can be exhausting, but always worth it to me, because I understand the choice that I have made…money over time.  Sometimes I wish it weren’t this way; I wish that I would be satisfied with time over money but unfortunately I see it as such a male weakness…*insert Daddy issues here.*  While mentally I know it’s not a weakness, spending all those years watching my father complete his daily routine has now got me jaded.

In the meantime I am holding out hope that God will present to me a man who is able to offer time AND money.  While it is rare, it is certainly not impossible.

What about you?  When it comes down to it are you settling down with a partner who is offering a plethora of free time to dedicate to the development of the relationship OR a strong work ethic that is chiefly motivated by career advancement with the promise of money?

My Friends With Benefits…Ruben Studdard

Not too long ago I sat down with Sinnamon Love, Blogxilla and our new homie Ruben Studdard for another episode of Friends With Benefits.  This time we discussed how social networking affects relationships!  Things definitely got a little heated…peep the video below.  Enjoy

My Traumatizing Encounter With the Occupy Wall Street Movement

See, what had happened was…. (yeah, it’s about to be one of those type of stories)

Last Thursday I received a message from Shelby about us hanging out.  Unfortunately, ever since I got back from Ohio two weeks ago, I’ve had ZERO time for anything other than work and sleep and the club that one time and since we’re used to hanging out several times a week, we were long overdue.  Once we linked up, we decided to head further downtown to Union Square to hang out.  I suggested Union Square because it has a cute little park that was going to be perfect for people watching, enjoying the sunshine and enjoying each other’s company.  I’d also heard that the day before there had been a Trayvon Martin protest; I was hoping that perhaps we could spot a glimpse of the overflow.

Once we arrived at Union Squre we immediately noticed folks dressed in urban grungewear, rocking unique tights, hairstyles, jewelry and bags on the outskirts of the park.  As we crossed the street to get closer I noticed several police officers posted nearby, outside the throng of the crowd.  Traffic was heavy as it was rush-hour traffic, and I began noticing a few dancers, skaters and protesters yelling indistinguishable things.  Shelby and I were confused as to what we’d stumbled upon.  Just as soon as I realized it must’ve been Day 2 of the Trayvon Martin protest, she pointed to a bold yellow sheet with black letters scrawled across the front.  “Oh my gosh couso!  Look!  This is Occupy Wall Street!”

Through my confusion, I took a closer look.  I realized the grungwear folks with unique jewelry and hairstyles was actually dirty, homeless people rocking whatever people had given them or randomness they found in the trash.  The protesters standing along the edge of the crowd were yelling things at the police officers such as, “You can’t touch me,” “You can’t do anything!” and my personal favorite, “I dare you to try to make me leave!”  I glanced to my left at Shelby’s subtly pointed finger.  “No that White lady is not sitting out here without her shirt and bra on.  And she’s got some big ones on her too!”  As we ventured further into the protest, we noticed flattened cardboard boxes strewn about with sleeping people lying on them.

Instead of seeing misplaced blue collar employees and unemployed factory workers that I had assumed would be Occupy Wall Street protesters, I realized that it was mentally unstable/ill, homeless folks who were looking for something to do when there was nothing to do.  “Cous,” I said in a low voice, “I can’t believe how stupid Occuply Wall Street is.  It’s a movement made up of a bunch of crazy, homeless people.”  By this point Shelby and I had found a tiny patch of empty space on some steps and were sitting down among the crowd.  I couldn’t quite tell who was, and wasn’t, protesters.  “You’re definitely not being quiet as you think you are so I’m going to sit here and act like I didn’t hear a word of what you just said,” she responded curtly.  Lmbo.  Oops.

We began to talk casually about how our lives have been, and since we had made plans to meet up with Mike in a few, we decided to wait at the Park until he arrived.  It wasn’t long before a man sat down near us and asked me, “Is that your girlfriend?”  Shelby laughed.  All I could do was shake my head and firmly tell him “No.”  (Earlier that day Shelby and I had stopped at the store and I had gotten hit on HARD by a woman.  Her running joke on me ever since had been that I had that spirit on me and I better get myself together…it was crazy because I NEVER get hit on by women)  He was dressed in filthy clothes, hadn’t shaved in days, and had extremely crooked and rotten teeth.  He then let us know how beautiful he thought we were and began telling us about his life…he mentioned he was from Pennsylvania, was a rapper, and was releasing his completed album soon.  I nodded my head politely when necessary but it wasn’t long before I zoned him out.  He began asking us if we were single, did we have kids and if we would hook him up with one of our friends but I ignored him.  Whenever he’d get tired of that, he’d get a little aggitated, aggressive and angry.  “Aye!  You two girls!  Yeah, I’m talkin to you!”  Everytime he did it Shelby would respond…she was nervous he’d do something more drastic if we continued to ignore him.  Finally he got tired of trying to get our attention and yelled at us, “Women like you who ignore men are the reason we become pedophiles!”  Our mouths dropped open as our eyes met.  Did he really say that?  “I hope your future children get molested too!” he said as he got up and walked away.

While we were incredibly disgusted, we didn’t move because the crazy man had already left and we knew Mike would be there any minute.  We stayed put and continued to watch the sights.  There were lots of photographers and other media outlets taking pictures of protesters, dancers and the naked lady so it was interesting to say the least.  Out of the corner of our eyes, we noticed a Black woman coming near our section, dressed in long turquise robes with SUPER long locs, preaching about something.  It wasn’t long before we realized she was Rastafarian and was preaching about her faith.  Suddenly, the crazy man was at her side.  “Auntie!  Auntie!  You see those two girls right there?”  He pointed at Shelby and I.  “Those girls were very rude to me!  They don’t know about their culture.  You need to go talk to them.”  Our mouths dropped.  “Who?  Those girls?!?!” said Rasta Auntie, as she extended one long index finger in our direction with her forehead furrowed in confusion.  “I’m done.  Come on cous.  We’re leaving,” said Shelby as she stood with a start and began walking to another section of the park, but not before she managed to mutter a few words to Rasta Auntie that I couldn’t quite catch.  I quickly followed behind her.

A few minutes later Mike finally joined us, and after a bite to eat at Chipotle where I got hit on by yet another woman smh we walked back by the Union Square Park, en route to the trains.  We pointed out the bare-breasted lady and Mike had a nice little chuckle.  And wouldn’t you know, there was a tiny little stage set up and the crazy man was up there rapping?

“You know what?  As crazy as he is, it makes me feel good to know that he wasn’t lying about rapping.  At least we know we can depend on him to be somewhat truthful.  He’s alright with me.” said Shelby.

I thought about what she said.  “I would agree couso…but remember, he also told us he’s a pedophile.”

From there we began brainstorming ways that we could report him while Mike just laughed and shook his head.

“If I Had a Son, He’d Look Like Trayvon.”

And so says President Obama.

Even if you’ve been living under a rock (as I have been), there is no way you’ve yet to hear about the murder of Trayvon Martin, the 17-year old Black teen who was killed by a White Hispanic.  Why?  For looking “suspicious” in a gated community.

Every couple of days I do a Google search to read of any updates on the tragedy.  This afternoon I came across a CNN article that alerted me to the fact that even the President of our country has stepped up to the plate to speak on it.

Obama spoke out publicly Friday for the first time on the matter. “When I think about this boy, I think about my own kids,” Obama told reporters in response to a question. “And I think every parent in America should be able to understand why it is absolutely imperative that we investigate every aspect of this and that everybody pulls together — federal, state and local — to figure out exactly how this tragedy happened.”  Obama praised Florida Gov. Rick Scott’s decision to create a task force to review the “stand your ground” law and said that it would be important to “examine the laws and the context for what happened as well as the specifics of the incident.  But my main message is to the parents of Trayvon,” Obama said.  “I think they are right to expect that all of us as Americans are going to take this with the seriousness it deserves and we will get to the bottom of exactly what happened,” he said.  And he obliquely addressed the racial component of the case, saying it struck home for him because, “If I had a son, he’d look like Trayvon.”

In times like this, we can feel so helpless.  We’re in other parts of the world, dealing with our own struggles and have no idea how we can help influence change despite knowing that this indeed quite a big deal.  Despite how miniscule it may seem, I have found one way.

The good people over at Change.org have created a petition on behalf of Trayvon Martin.  It’s a call to action for Angela Corey, Florida’s 4th District State’s Attorney, to investigate Trayvon’s murder so that George Zimmerman might be prosecuted in some way.  The petition signatures are currently nearing two million signatures.

I know that “If I had a son, he’d look like Trayvon.” My brothers, cousins, and several male friends and associates look like Trayvon.  Here’s to praying that I’m NEVER in the same position as Trayvon’s family members and loved ones, working feverishly to find some semblance of justice in today’s society, for the death of someone I love dearly.

Clearly I am not a laywer nor do I have all the facts of this case.  What I do know is that if being a minority and walking ”suspiciously” in a gated community is ultimately a death sentence then majority of us are in trouble…hence why I support this petition and an investigation into Trayvon’s death.

Prayerfully a change is gonna come.

About These Last Few Days…

Here it is, after 11PM, and I’m just now getting home after spending nearly 12 hours at work (after being out until the wee hours of the morning the night before).  It is safe to say that with the arrival of the beautiful weather, our busy season at the J-O-B is just getting started!  I realized that it’s been roughly a week since I’ve been on here and while I don’t have anything newsworthy to share, it can’t possibly hurt to update my loved ones on what the heck I’ve been up to!

I recently made a trip home to visit with those nearest and dearest to my heart!  Some highlights of the trip include…

• Mom is handling business at her new job.
• Dad is emerging from the hectic frenzy best known as tax season up at Insurance Warehouse.
• Lil bro Ty has acquired a belly and has now been nicknamed Gucci/OJ by myself and Jon Jon, our youngest bro, lmbo (when we’re feeling nice we call him Drakey because y’all know Ty looks like Drake’s little brother).
• Speaking of Jon Jon, he is now growing out his hair into some sort of randomness…while I told him how unkempt it looks, he assured me he is setting trends and now all the other popular kids at school are growing afro’s because of him.  *blankstare*
• Baby sis Jordan/Booter now has all A’s with two B’s which is a VAST improvement from where she was several weeks ago…before I got ALLLL up in her business and let her now how bad grades will NOT fly especially if she’s seriously trying to one day become a member of DST).
• Little cousin Jana was 39 weeks pregnant and I spent those days I was home hoping her water would break so that I could get the first peek at  Baby Temperance.
• Veronika and I received the best customer service EVER while we were out and about searching for the perfect gift for someone special…well, I thought it was the best customer service.  V rolled her eyes as I ooh’ed and aah’ed at the sales associates’ mini-presentations.

As I said before, since arriving back in this city, it’s been non-stop go, Go, GO!  When I’m not working my day job I’ve been stalking Shelby at hers so that we can squeeze a precious 20-minute date into the middle of our work week, as we have nearly opposite schedules.  We’ve both been terribly homesick, so we’ve been clinging to each other a bit more than usual.  :(  I also linked up with my Friends With Benefits homies and Ruben Studdard to discuss his album that was released this past Tuesday.  Additionally, we delved into the realm of social networking and how it affects relationships-that video should be posted soon.  Lastly, I was FINALLY able to see my boo Wale! ;) I love that man’s voice!

This weekend things should calm down quite a bit.  I will finally be able to kick up my feet, respond to those missed calls and overall, get my life anchored.

Also, if you’re upset that I may not have responded to you via social networking, try shooting me an email or text.  Besos!

My Friends With Benefits… Tank

I recently had the pleasure of hanging out with R&B singer Tank and two other NYC peeps, BlogXilla and Sinnamon Love.  At BlogXilla’s prompting, we all sat down to chat about breakups versus taking a break.  With no further ado, peep the video below to see how our different perspectives on the emotionally-driven topic pan out.

35 in 2012: Update

I was recently talking to Shelby about the 35 in 2012 Book Challenge and while reviewing the books I’ve read thus far she paused before asking, “Where are your reviews though?  I haven’t really seen any on your blog.”

After visiting her site, I realized she’s actually been giving mini book reports on each of her reads…how ambitious!.  While I personally haven’t had the energy to do it (i.e. I’m too lazy to commit) I figured now would be a great time to give a rundown of the books I have read and the ones that I have coming up, Shelby-style…

 

#1

Recommended by: Adelina, my ex-roommate who is a voracious reader

Genre: Non-fiction

Synopsis: The first-half introduces you to the Southern town that is Savannah, Georgia in the 1970s/1980s.  You meet all of the characters that contribute to the daily life and fall in love with it, just as the author did.  The second half reveals a death and how the town is split: was it murder or self-defense?  From there all kinds of drama unfolds.  The best part?  It all really happened.

My Recommendation: A- It’s an easy, breezy, entertaining read that keeps you occupied with stuff to think about.  I love how it reads as a fictional novel but is actually a non-fictional account of a serious time in a Southern town’s history.

Lasting Impression: I’ve gotta visit Savannah, Georgia sometime this lifetime.

 

#2

Recommended by: Michael, a co-worker of mine who is the equivalent of a walking encyclopedia.  He literally knows a great deal about nearly everything…I could sit and listen to him talk for days about various subjects and never get bored.

Genre: Fiction (but I’m convinced some of it, if not all of it, is actually non-fiction…)

Synopsis: A Vietnam veteran shares various stories of his time spent serving in the Vietnam War with his fellow soldiers.  He also updates you on how some of those soldiers adjusted to life after the War.

My Recommendation: C. I spent the first half of the book confused…I wasn’t sure what was going on.  Somebody was narrating it, but I wasn’t sure who it was and wound up wrongfully confusing various soldiers as the narrator and their roles in the scattered, spotty storyline.  There wasn’t much of a plot.  Michael had to break it down for me.  “Tim O’Brien, the author, was a Vietnam vet in real life.  The story is that he got back to the USA and refused to talk about his experiences, but wrote about them instead.  The result is this book, which he says is actually fictional.  But that’s why the narrator in the story is named ‘Tim O’Brien’ and is described as having served in the war and uses writing as his way of coping, a therapy of sorts.”  Oh, okay…I guess I get that.

Final Thoughts: This is a heavily hyped book that left me disappointed.  Why didn’t the back cover of the book explain the background info to me before I started reading?  And I wish the storyline wouldn’t have been so scattered….it was everywhere and nowhere all at the same time.

 

#3

Recommended by: Adelina

Genre: Fiction

Synopsis, My Recommendation, Final Thoughts: Peep this.

 

#4

Recommended by: Shelby, but she was slightly apprehensive when handing it over.  “Let me know what you think about this one.  It’s…interesting.”

Genre: Non-fiction

Synopsis: Waris Dirie, a Somalian supermodel, shares her personal journey from being a nomad in the Sahara desert to finding superstardom.

My Recommendation: C.  I greatly appreciated the rags-to-riches story she presented, but was greatly disappointed in her lack of humility and sense of entitlement that she expressed throughout.  She was brutally honest about everything from her torturous personal account of her own female genital mutilation rite of passage to her flight from an arranged marriage with a 60+-year-old man, to her time spent playing maid/housekeeper in London for Somalia’s ambassador to her time struggling to obtain a legal passport that enabled her to become an international supermodel.  On the other hand, she seemed quite unappreciative of all the liberties she enjoyed as a result of others bending over backwards for her…she describes how harshly she spoke/treated to others around her and lacked a certain level of humility that I would expect people, of all cultures to have when interacting with others.

Final Thoughts: I still can’t get over how Dirie confronted Iman about why Iman didn’t use Dirie, a fellow Somalian, to model for Iman’s cosmetic line.  Dirie did it with such a level of aggression, hostility and entitlement that it turned me ALL the way off.  For a second I contemplated not finishing the book.  I was so over her and her diva tactics.  If you can see past that, I guess it was a good read.  Ultimately, it left a sour taste in my mouth.

So that’s it folks!  Unfortunately I’m behind in The Challenge…the schedule is roughly 1 book every 10 days.  I’m supposed to be on #7 right now, but instead I’m nearly finished with #5.  Womp. Womp.  Below you’ll find an outline of the next several titles I plan on tackling in March (and part of April)…

• The Love Toy by Keith Basso.  It’s another recommendation by Adelina and I’m halfway finished with the small book.  So far, I’m over it.  It’s too simple, basic and trashy for my own personal taste but I have a hard time quitting things before they’re finished so yeah…I’m stuck.
• Methland by Nick Reding.  It was recommended by Shelby from a Barnes & Noble employee…she never read it but said it sounded good.  I’m reading it and am over it.  The author is repetitive and uses unnecessarily big words.  I’m bored but because I’ve started…yeah.
• It’s Your Time by Joel Osteen.  Another recommendation from Shelby, via Mike.  He REALLY raved about it and she reluctantly picked it up and was then blown away.  It’s now been passed on to me.  I’m stuck on the 3rd chapter…I’m bored.  Joel’s saying the same thing, over and over….sigh.  Pray for a breakthrough for me saints!  Lol…notice a pattern?  Looks like I’m easily bored with stuff.
• The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins.  Who HASN’T recommended this book?  I opened it up for the first time last night and have been IMMEDIATELY sucked in!  My mom called me last night to tell me she was in line purchasing it for Jon Jon (my baby brother) as she and I were talking lol.  So now I’m gonna go ahead and knock it out real quick…Jon Jon (and Jordan, my baby sister) and I will be reading it together…aww!
• The Kite Runner by Khaled Hosseini.  And yet, another Shelby recommendation.  She didn’t say much other than it GREATLY affected her emotionally…more than any other book she’s ever read.  I’m kind of nervous to start it.
• Waiting for Superman:How We Can Save America’s Failing Public Schools edited by Karl Weber.  This one comes recommended by Mr. Right Now, who’s a teacher by occupation.  He’s not a major reader (mainly because he doesn’t have the time) but it resonated deeply with him.  I figure if it didn’t bore him I should be good.

“The Astonishing Life of Octavian Nothing, Vol 1: The Pox Party”

As many may know, I’ve joined Shelby’s reading challenge-read 35 books in 2012.  The challenge is not easy, especially when you realize that to stay on target roughly 3 books should be read a month, but I’m trying to hang in there.  Tonight I finished my third book The Astonishing Life of Octavian Nothing, Vol 1: The Pox Party. 

It. Is. Amazing.

For starters, I’m a sucker for plots that have unique perspectives the reader (or viewer if I’m watching film) isn’t anticipating.  I appreciate that element of dramatic surprise   This story takes a tired old subject but adds a crazy twist that I’ve yet to encounter.  The plot unfolds as follows…

Octavian is the son of African royalty, Princess Casseoipeia, who resides at the Novanglian College of Lucidity right before the onset of the Revolutionary War in Boston, Massachusetts.  The tiny college prides itself on aggressively pursuing all matters of philosophical, mathematical and scientific exploration.  They conduct numerous experiments (How much mercury does it take to kill Octavian’s new dog?), records everything (such as noting what/how much Octavian eats then weighing his feces), and Octavian is there alongside the scholars being taught their ways, arts and languages of the fascinating world while being treated as the Prince he is.   Simply put, he gets the best of the best.  Princess Casseoipeia, the only woman at the college, is greatly admired and held in high esteem as well.  Unfortunately for Octavian, she refuses to tell him anything of his early life before the college or of her life in Africa.  When Octavian goes through serious measures to discover his early life what he learns will SHOCK you!  As Octavian discovers more about his past, his current role, and what is in store for him while attending the twisted college the novel takes on a whole new life of it’s own.

Despite the heavy Old English vernacular that is a bit challenging, I was able to catch on with no significant problems.  I managed to finish the 350 page novel in three days!  I encourage you to DEFINITELY go find this novel and dive right in.

There’s A Science Behind My (Hair) Madness

"Bad" hairstyle that became good

 

I’ve always allowed my hair’s behavior to determine my overall mood for the day.  As long as I’m having a phenomenal hair day there’s not much that can bring me down.  When my hair’s being wack, I tend to get slightly depressed.  Thank God I don’t have many genuinely BAD hair days.  I’ve learned enough tricks over the years to save just about any foul hair day.

Because of that, I was overjoyed when recently I came across The Psychology Behind a “Good Hair Day” by Vivian Diller, Ph.D on The Huffington Post.  Dr. Diller asserts the belief that hair most definitely plays a major roll in our self esteem.  She delves into five different perspectives on how our hair impacts it…

• Historically
• Developmentally
• Aesthetically
• Self Esteem
• Beauty for the Ages

And all this time yall thought I was being “extra” or trippin!  Smh.

The full article can be found below.

The Psychology Behind a “Good Hair Day” by Vivian Diller, Ph.D.

Are you having “a good hair day”? Seems like a simple, even silly, question coming from a psychologist whose work is about getting underneath the surface. But in all honesty — superficial or not — I have to say I’m familiar with that feeling. And having recently been asked to consult for a company about their new line of hair care products, I began thinking about the psychology behind “a good hair day.”

Most of us accept that looks matter. We know that our appearance impacts our personal, social and professional lives. We also know that how we feel influences how we look and vice versa — a phenomena I call beauty self-esteem. Although we’d like to believe “what is inside counts most,” scientific evidence, as well as common sense, tells us that an appealing appearance, good health and hygiene positively impacts our lives.
So, what role does hair play in our self-esteem? Does the attention focused on quarterback Tom Brady or actress Jennifer Aniston, say something about the psychological power behind this particular physical asset? To answer this question, I approach it from several different perspectives.

1) Historically – Keep in mind that the role hair has played in people’s self-image goes way back to ancient history. As long ago as Greek and Roman times, elaborate wigs were signs of status and wealth. Beautiful hair was associated with royalty, worn like a crown. Cleopatra was famous for her thick, black locks. Samson’s long hair symbolized supernatural strength.  During American Colonial times, upper class men and women wore white, curly wigs. Political figures and judges also adorned them as a sign of wisdom and sophistication. With decorative, attractive hair being highly valued throughout history, it’s likely it will continue to impact how we view ourselves today.

2) Developmentally — Another way to understand the psychology behind hair is to note its role biologically. For example, we instinctively view babies born with thick hair as heartier than those are with little or none. As children grow, we continue to see hair growth as a signal of good health. For adolescent boys, early facial hair is associated with virility, and on teen girls with signs of fecundity. Luscious thick hair is often equated with female sensuality and sexuality. Likewise, as we enter midlife, thinning or losing hair is associated with aging, loss of health, decreased fertility and virility.

3) Aesthetically — Hair frames the face, the feature considered most important in terms of first impressions. Faces generally are viewed as playing a greater role than bodies when it comes to attraction between people. Following a person’s smile, eyes and skin, their hair is often the next feature people notice on first encounters. It is among the top three features — along with height and weight — used when describing others and one of the feature most often recalled after a social interaction occurs.

4) Self-Esteem — Our sense of attractiveness is strongly connected to confidence and positive self-esteem. Many men and women associate confidence with feeling in control, and hair is one way most of us can be in charge. For example, hair can be altered through cutting, coloring and highlighting, but controlled through straightening, curling and styling. Styled, well-kept hair gives us the external appearance of being well managed and it can contribute to feeling that way internally. Some people say that a manicure or pedicure creates a similar sense of feeling in control.
5) Beauty for the Ages — As people get older, they inevitably feel loss in a number of ways — decrease in strength, flexibility, height, cognition and acuity. Even people in very good health are faced with dealing with changes that are inevitable. Although hair loss, thinning and graying are natural consequences for most aging people, a lot can be done, without too much time, effort or money to enhance hair style. Unlike surgical and cosmetic interventions that are used to update other physical features (e.g., lasers, face lifts, tummy tucks, teeth implants), enhancements to our hair are much less radical, and yet they can make a huge difference in how we feel about our aging appearance.

So, why does a “good hair day” matter? The answer lies in all the reasons above. Our looks matter and hair matters a lot in our general sense of attractiveness. With so many unknowns surrounding us in today’s complicated world, it is nice to know that a good hair day is a simple, yet deeply “rooted’ solution to our desire to look and feel good at any age.

Tell us what a “good hair day” means to you.

Cleopatra and I Would Have Been BFF’s

I’ve been known on more than one occasion to confess I’d appreciate the opportunity to wring a particular man’s neck in bouts of disatisfaction and angry temperament.  While those moments definitely aren’t my proudest, they are real.  With that being said, I had a nice little laugh after stumbling across the following quote…

And no I’m not now, nor have I ever been, “crazy.”  I am extremely passionate though.