Who really comes up with the nonsense that guys and girls can be friends? It’s not possible and never has been. Men and women are not constructed to form friendships with each other-our proper chemical makeup makes this impossible. Humanity was created with specific gender roles that keeps us separate unless it is for mating purposes-that is for a reason. Simply put, men are attracted to women, and women are attracted to men. Any alteration of this dynamic is seen as atypical and faces severe scrutiny, i.e. homosexuality.
Anyone that says they have a 100% platonic friend is a liar. We’ve seen all the different types of friends: the brother/sister, the bff’s, the kindergarten sandbox type and lastly, the exes. All of those fake descriptors are not much more than ridiculous cover-ups as an attempt to cloud underlying sexual tension that exists somewhere within the relationship. Whenever we attempt to challenge this system and “hang out” we will eventually land flat on our faces and will always be proven wrong. Period.
We all know the couple that swears up and down that they are “just friends” and view each other as family, hence
the “he’s my brother” or “she’s my sister” lingo. The two are close because one party has characteristics that the other party has deemed likeable. In addition to this, the two must share common and similar interests that act as the fuel to propel the friendship. Because the two are of the opposite sex and have been programmed by human nature to be sexually attracted to each other a 100% platonic friendship is impossible. At least one of the parties involved is attracted to the other in some capacity and for whatever reason is not acknowledging this fact. Don’t believe me? If one of the party’s were to show up late, drunk and unannounced naked, ready to make relations, would the other person say no? Highly doubt it.
The bff “friendship” is the real insult to our intelligence. It can never be taken too seriously because almost always, it is a cover-up for an ongoing romantic relationship. The bff’s began as a brother/sister “friendship” before evolving to the romantic one they’re at now. For whatever reason, they’ve chosen to hide it from the world and are not open to admitting it. This type of “friendship” is especially unfortunate when the “friends” are in actual committed relationships with others. In a case like the bff friends, I don’t believe using the “showing up naked at the door” test is even necessary since we know what the answer to that question would be.
The kindergarten sandbox type is one of the saddest “friendships” that exists because it is usually comprised of one party who is genuinely interested in a friendship while you have the other who is head over heels, in like/love with the other. The individual who is genuinely interested in only a friendship would be able to maintain their integrity because they wouldn’t be physically attracted to the other party. These type of friendships are one-sided so they’re 50% platonic. When applying the “showing up naked at the door” test, the other person would obviously deny the friend, hence the authentic 50% platonic friendship.
The exes that have now agreed they work better as friends is the fakest “friendship” of all. Obviously they have already proven my theory correct because they’ve already taken their friendship to the relationship level. They’ve found themselves at one point in their lives to be compatible enough to be in a romantic relationship and if they’ve done it once, they can do it again. For those that say they’ve learned their lesson and realize it could never work romantically, I’d counter, “Why even consider being friends then?” since friendships are grounded on the fact that you share several common interests and similarities with each other. Attempting to apply the “showing up naked at the door” test is faulty because 9 times out of 10, these two have already done that.
Obviously a “friendship” is the gateway to a romantic relationship in all cases of the male/female dynamic. The ONLY exception to any of this is a homosexual man or woman who is attracted to their own gender. If a man is truly gay, it doesn’t matter how many similarities he has with certain women, a romantic relationship with them is impossible. The same goes for a truly straight man-it doesn’t matter how many similarities he has with his boys, a romantic relationship would be impossible.
I’ve seen men with tons of female friends and women with male friends who say that it all means nothing. If beau’s are in the picture, these individuals assure their beau’s that the extra “friendships” won’t/can’t threaten the established relationship. This is impossible because in due time, one of the above friendship profiles will take shape and form. It would be impossible for it NOT to. Like I’ve said multiple times already, we simply aren’t constructed to behave any differently -this fact is innate and ingrained within us.
With all this being said, I am not opposed to guys and girls being associates. It can be great to hang out and bounce different ideas off of each other and overall, enjoy that spirit of community those interactions can bring. This will ALWAYS become detrimental however when those lines become blurred and you begin looking to the opposite sex to hold down those intimate, personal roles that should only be reserved for friendships with the same sex.