Am I Ready To Give Up Social Networking?

Mid-July 2010, 12:00 PM, via G-chat

Shelby: I’m deactivating my facebook account and stopping watching all reality tv and reading non-friend blogs
Me : lol random y? dang antisocial ever?
Shelby : Tooo much watching others live life instead of living life myself
Me : lol but that gives you inspiration and something to talk about
Shelby : I also feel like I am giving too much of myself! I am becoming consumed with others and myself… it’s too much! Thinking about what others think etc.
Me : i think you’re overreacting
Shelby : nope — the other day while riding my bike I felt so free…. I am a 60’s writer cousin…I am a thinker… I can’t continue to go down this road…I need to pick up books instead of all this madness!
Me : fb keeps u connected dont u dare, just dont view it! go on, respond to questions/comments, update ur status with your newest blog subject and keep it moving
Shelby : NOPE! I am out!
Me : sigh, you’re totally overreacting – i get reality tv but come on now
Shelby : I am deactivating at 5:00 pm 🙂
Me : you’ll be a hobbit! old lady spinster? when mike goes to work you’ll be petting your cats anxiously awaiting him to get home
Shelby : hahahahahha
Me : and then he wont wanna come home 

                To put it mildly, I thought Shelby Lynne was crazy.  I believed she had officially overdosed on the whole “soul-searching” kick she was on and had lost touch with the common people.  If you follow me on Twitter (@FancyAYancey) or are a friend on the Book of Faces (@ A. Yancey) it’s quite apparent I’ve been known to give my social network peeps a very intimate glimpse into my private life.  If we’re acquainted long enough you will learn of the newest nail polish color I’m wearing (bold red called The Thrill of Brazil by OPI), be made aware that I went to bed at 3AM the night before and am now tired as a result and that the biggest want I have for this Christmas season is the Kindle.  But over the past few days, reality has hit me-no one but me really cares!

                Whether I had gone to bed at 12AM or 6AM would make no difference to anyone, if my nails are painted red, white, black or nothing at all has zero impact on their day and the only person that really needs to be aware of my NEED of the Kindle is Tony Yancey (and yes, he’s already been notified of this as my Twitter followers are already well-aware because I tweeted it).  The only things that have been strictly FORBIDDEN topics on my social networking pages up to this point are details on family issues and relationship issues.  If I’m seriously upset with either about something, Twitter and Facebook will not be notified.

                I’ve now come to the conclusion that I really need to give it a rest.  If I’m honest with myself, while I realize I’m not ready to quit Twitter “cold turkey” I will attempt to focus my tweets on inspirational messages and things relating to this blog.  Gone are the days of updating my Twitter with the song that I’m “now playing” or the fact that I’ve been at work all day.  I’ve slowly weaned myself from Facebook, but that was only because my dependence on it was replaced with Twitter.  Recently two things have occurred that have made me realize how ridiculous I’ve been by giving Twitter more credit/merit than it is actually worth.  The first was my S.O. (significant other although he’s commonly referred to as “boy toy” on my Twitter timeline). 

               Up to this point, he has never given me a reason to not trust him.  I’ve never caught him in a lie, never seen him in a compromising position (besides “dancing” smh lol but I’ll cover my dislike for that in another post on a different day) and have never gotten any negative reports on his behavior while he’s been out and about.  In addition to this, my womanly “gut instinct/6th sense” has never been triggered.  Women, you know that this is a RARE phenomenon in the world of dating and relationships.  As a result, I began to stalk his Twitter.  I wasn’t necessarily looking for something, but…I don’t need to go into any more details…you all already know the outcome hasn’t been good.  Long story short, every single time he and I hit a rocky patch it has almost ALWAYS had something to do with me seeing something questionable on Twitter (It’s been a cycle of me reading too much into tweets, confronting him about it, and then looking FOOLISH in the end because he is in the clear).  My girls, at some point, have all advised me that perhaps I might be slightly overreacting to stalked tweets, but on one particular occurence when even Shelby couldn’t/wouldn’t agree with me, that’s when I knew I’ve been doin a bit too much.  

               The second occurrence was a series of tweets made earlier today by a couple of women who have been known to DOMINATE my timeline.  One of them is in law school and has a full time job at a law firm (it’s VERY important to surround yourself around inspirational people).  Nearly every morning over the past few months I’ve woken up to a series of tweets from her warning women of the pitfalls of wacktacular men (no, she’s not a bitter, Black female either-she just got engaged to a Black engineer who is doin the darn thing).  While her tweets are ridiculously entertaining, today she admitted that it’s important to live your life instead of stalking your timeline to read about how others “say” they’re living their lives (you know people stunt on Twitter lol).  Another woman who I happen to be pretty close to recently took a nearly week-long hiatus.  She returned today just to elaborate on the above points the previous woman had said.  The below quote from the second woman pretty much sums up this post I’ve written. 

“Hey loves!!! I’ve been gone almost a week, hope everyone is being blessed.  I’ve noticed just being off of twitter for 4 days I’ve gotten so much accomplished.  A new event is scheduled to hit the city and work at my job is actually getting accomplished.  People really tweet and treat Twitter better than they treat themselves.  People will neglect to comb their hair, brush their teeth, or wash their arse but they will hop their arse on Twitter in a heartbeat.  People will stay checking timelines, but won’t check back on the job application that they put in weeks ago.  Everyone treats Twitter like a darn diary but won’t get on their knees and talk to God.  Nobody cares if your man is cheating on you and got a girl preggo, nobody cares you got a C on your paper, nobody cares how much money you make.  All Twitter does is open room for haters and schemers to attack your arse.  Your comments people will hardly agree with.  I tweet about HIV and to go get tested! Not one person responds or retweets when I’m talking about stuff that can save your darn life.  But let me tweet how ‘hoes rule the world and n*’s love to follow em.’ I will get 21 retweets.  Everybody is hitting the same chicks and dudes and Twitter gets to hear about it smh (shaking my head).  Try talking to the person you’re cheating on, I’m sure they wanna find out from you before Twitter does.  So be productive, make money, forget haters, grind hard, sleep later, mind ya business and stay out of others!”

–Casanav Simmons (@Casanova)

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7 thoughts on “Am I Ready To Give Up Social Networking?

  1. WOWOOWOWO cousin! I can’t believe you are stepping back! WELCOME BACK TO REALITY. The reality where you live and you TALK to others and really see how they are feeling, talking about, and loving! It’s fun on the other side, trust me. Love you so much.

    P.S.S. I’ve begun breaking away from television, too….

  2. I dig it. Ive went away a couple times and am almost never on fb. After returning, i realized these sites (like everything else) only gets as much power as we give them. Keep it in perspectve, live real life and keep it moving. When u realize that others’ thoughts and ideas matter more to u than ur own (or ure ego trippin) take a step back. Social networking can be stressful…depower i every once in a while by noy taking–or urself on it–too seriously. Keep writing yancey.

  3. thanks so much tone! i love your support! and yeah, i’m def taking heed to ur advice about keeping it in perspective and not giving it too much power. today is day 1 of my withdrawal…so far it hasn’t been difficult. i got caught up in a debate over one of my posts 🙂 so far so good, as long as the people are visiting/reading and talking!

  4. WELL… IVE BEEN OFF OF TWITTER FOR OVER 3 MONTHS NOW, AND IVE BEEN OFF OF FACEBOOK FOR ALMOST A MONTH. IT WASNT AS HARD AS IT MAY SEEM TO EVERYONE. I JUST NOTICED MYSELF GETTING WAY TOO CAUGHT UP IN WHAT WAS GOING ON WITH EVERYONE ELSE. SUBLIMINAL POSTS/MESSAGES, FRIENDS GOING BACK AND FORTH, FAMILY ISSUES BEING AIRED FOR THE WORLD TO SEE (PERSONAL EXPERIENCE), BABY- DADDY/BABY-MOMMA DRAMA, MEN/WOMEN BASHING, RANDOM ANGRY POSTS, ATTENTION SEEKING ANTICS…. ETC. BOTH OF THESE SOCIAL SITES HAD STARTED TO BECOME THE BEGINNING, MIDDLE AND END OF MY DAY, WHICH WAS COMPLETELY RIDICULOUS! I AM AN OUTGOING, OUTSPOKEN INDIVIDUAL WITH A LOT MORE TO OFFER THE WORLD THAN A STATUS UPDATE, WHICH GIVES PEOPLE EVEN MORE OF A REASON TO THINK THAT THEY KNOW YOU AND WHATS GOING ON IN YOUR REAL LIFE. AND FOR SOMEONE LIKE MYSELF WHO IS FREQUENTLY MISUNDERSTOOD, IT REALLY DOESNT HELP. I HAD ALREADY GONE THROUGH THE BEGINNING STAGES OF FACEBOOK ‘PURGING’ IN PREVIOUS MONTHS. YOU KNOW, THE DELETING PEOPLE I DONT PERSONALLY KNOW, AND THEN DELETING PEOPLE WHO MADE POSTS ABOUT THINGS THAT I DONT SUPPORT OR AGREE WITH …. SO ON A RANDOM WEDS IN NOV, I’D HAD ENOUGH AND JUST DELETED IT. I DIDNT MAKE ONE LAST POST SAYING, “HEY EVERYONE IM DEACTIVATING MY FACEBOOK, I HATE IT ON HERE!” (MORE ATTENTION SEEKING) I JUST DELETED IT… ODDLY ENOUGH, I HAD SO MANY “FRIENDS” ON FACEBOOK (MORE THAN 100), BUT I CAN COUNT ON BOTH HANDS HOW MANY PEOPLE HAVE ACTUALLY ASKED/CALLED/EMAILED ME TO SEE WHAT HAPPENED, WHERE HAVE I BEEN, OR WHAT HAVE I BEEN DOING.. SO I GUESS IM NOT AS IMPORTANT AS MY HIGH NUMBER OF SOCIAL “FRIENDS” PORTRAYS ME TO BE, HUH? (SHAKES HEAD WHILE LAUGHING TO MYSELF)

  5. couso i did notice you’d left fb and when i did i remembered you’d been talking a lot about how you weren’t on it anymore and were thinking about getting off.

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