My Grandmother Gives Out My Number…Seriously. SMH

From the time I was younger I’ve always thought my grandmother was fabulous.  She’s always dressed her behind off, has a little sass to let you know she’s not to be played with and most importantly, she does not settle-what Norma Jean wants, Norma Jean gets.  This is all fun and dandy until you get to me.  Since reaching adult age my grandmother and I have clashed quite a bit.  The family says it’s because we’re exactly alike-similar personalities, strong-willed, stubborn and spunky.  My grandmother believes it’s because we’re both Gemini’s.  Whatever lol.

When I was around a sophomore or junior in college my grandmother began attempting to hook me up with different men she encounters while she’s out and about.  I remember one time when I was spending the afternoon with her, she pulled up outside of a Holiday Inn hotel insisting I get out and meet a young man she’d met earlier that day.  She was convinced we’d hit it off because he was an attractive young man, obviously employed and had spoken and been very polite to her.  I was beyond embarrassed and refused to get out of the car.

Yesterday she was up to her old antics.  I was in the office, reviewing a few of the end-of-year reports at work when she rushed in exclaiming, “Oh great Ashley!  You’re just the person I wanted to see.”  Immediately I grew concerned.  Grandma came to the office just to see me (my father owns the business and my younger brother works here as well)?  “Hey, Grandma!” I cautiously exclaimed back.  “What’s goin on?  Talk to me.” 

She began telling me the story of how she’d just left the barbershop where Linda, Grandma’s barber, had just cut her hair.  While there Grandma had struck up a conversation with Trace, a well-groomed, pretty boy she saw in the shop.  After complimenting him on having a “nicely-shaped head,” (seriously) she asked if he knew her beautiful granddaughter, Ashley Yancey.  Upon hearing no, Grandma told him the name of the office I work in and said that I can oftentimes be found there. 

“Grandma!  Why would you do that?  You know I’m not looking for anyone.” 

“Oh Ashley, you’re never looking for anyone.  It’s fine.  Trace said that if he comes in here and see’s you he’s going to extend his hand to you and say, ‘I’m Trace.  I heard about you from your Grandmother.  Hehehe!”

SMH.

After Grandma left the office I got a call from her a few minutes later.  “Ashley, the oddest thing just happened.  I saw I had this number for you but I realized I’ve had it for awhile so I’m checking to make sure this is your current phone number.  I’m updating my contacts.”  “Yes Grandma, this is my number.”  “Ok Ashley, I love you, goodbye.” 

About 20 minutes later Grandma called back.

“Ashley the funniest thing just happened!  Linda called me and Trace happened to be right there so I went ahead and made sure that this is your updated telephone number so that I could give it to Linda.”

“Grandma, did you just give my number to Trace!?”

“Ashley, Ashley!” she exclaimed between giggles, “Trace is such a nice guy, he really is.  He dresses so nice and is so handsome.  He reminds me so much of Ty, I think Trace kind of looks like him [Ty is my brother].  Trace didn’t think he’d be able to stop by the office and he travels a lot for his job so this would be the best.  I mean, isn’t it less awkward on the phone instead of him coming into the office anyway?!  Besides I think he lives in Virginia, or maybe he’s from Virginia.  I don’t know.  But he’s supposed to be calling you sweetheart!” 

Only me folks, only me.  *Praying Trace doesn’t call*

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6 thoughts on “My Grandmother Gives Out My Number…Seriously. SMH

  1. OMG! NORMA JEAN IS A MESS, I LOVE EVERY MINUTE OF IT! THIS JUST MADE MY DAY! MY GRANNIE IS THE COMPLETE OPPOSITE, SHE SAYS THAT I SHOULDNT RUSH INTO MARRIAGE AND KIDS JUST YET. (UH YEAH GRANNIE, YOU DO KNOW I AM 29, RIGHT?!)

  2. couso! smh. oh and the first post on here is Veronika…she was logged into my blog so it looks like i commented but it is really her.

    my grandma is so thirsty to see me settled down with someone but just cuz she’s met no one doesn’t mean that no one’s always existed 😉 i’ve def had boo’s over the years, just introduced her to none.

  3. I JUST LOVE THIS POST, ASHLEY YOU NEED TO HAVE A MAN!!! NOW I WON’T SAY AUNTIE IS THE WAY TO GO, BUT AT LEAST SHE IS TRYING. SIMON’E YOU ARE 29 WOW, I DID NOT KNOW. SIMON’E MAYBE YOU SHOULD GET STARTED!!LOL OK ASHLEY, DO YOU HAVE A BOO NOW??

  4. Simone’s been locked down for some years’s lol. And cousin Tonya read a lil further down on this blog-I just got over a heartbreak actually. I am fresh out of something and taking my time getting into something else new. For now I’m just having fun, kickin it and doin me. Anyone that tries to get “for real” I cut off…it’s just where I’m at right now :/

  5. Pingback: Grandma Tried To Set Me Up Again « Fancy A. Yancey

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