#DontAskDontTell

My father has evolved into one of my best friends in recent years. That transition from strict disciplinarian to a figure of advice, gossip, etc wasn’t always the smoothest, but we’ve arrived. As a result, we talk about everything under the sun it seems…weather, friendships, family, dreams, our futures, randomness, etc. We talk about everything except one thing.

Relationships.

I’ve never discussed my men with him, nor has he discussed his women with me. He might’ve seen a boyfriend back in the day who joined me at a family gathering and he does meet male acquaintances on occasion (however these male acquaintances are never anything more than acquaintances), but he never dives too deep when it comes to questions. He’s never done the whole, “So where do you know him from?” or “So what’s he all about-what are you two doing?” I really appreciate that. And for him, I don’t ask questions. Now that he’s married I don’t really ask about the marriage and when he was single I just went with the flow with whoever I was introduced too. He and I have always had this understanding…

Or so I thought.

Today I came into the office and while we were doing our usual small talk and easy going banter I asked, “So, anything special for Valentine’s Day this year?” Of course he responds with the “Girl na! I ain’t thinking nothing about that day.” Then he took it a step further and went into uncharted territory.

“You got any Valentine’s Day plans?”

It was an innocent question. I do in fact have Valentine’s Day plans with someone that Dad probably should have met quite some time ago but hasn’t for whatever reasons. I also have innocent plans with an acquaintance and it just so happens that we made plans before looking at dates on the calendar. Just my luck, right?  One would think I could have shared all of this with my dad. He’s SUPER cool, down-to-earth and just, cool lol. But I didn’t.

“Oh, nothing worth talking about for real…you know.”

Sigh. Maybe by this time next year I’ll have met someone that I feel comfortable introducing to dad and when that question is asked I’ll be able to gush about it. What’s kinda funny to me is that none of my siblings (to my knowledge) discuss these things with him (or anyone really). For example I know I have no idea if my younger brother has a girlfriend/main and vice versa. Sometimes it just be’s like that.

***Sidenote: I wonder if dad’s getting anxious. He’s got 5 kids, the oldest of whom is 35 all the way down to the baby who’s 21. He has NO grandkids and no prospects either. I think I might start feeling anxious lol.  He doesn’t hint at it, but then again, I don’t think he would.  My older brother is getting married this spring (the first marriage of my dad’s kids) and the rest of us aren’t getting married anytime soon. As a matter of fact, I believe we’re all single with no serious prospects. Most men his age are grandparents-they’ve got a few snotty-nosed mongrels running around wrecking havoc at Chuckie Cheese.***

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