Confession: Thunder Terrifies Me

            My first memories with thunder begin around the age of 7 or 8.  My parents were divorced, I lived with my dad, and while I was sleeping a thunderstorm hit.  When the first clap of thunder sounded, I became petrified.  The loud booms freaked me out and I was desperate for safety.  Immediately I took off running down the hallway into my father’s room.  I was TERRIFIED!  I climbed into his bed, snuggled up next to him, and had no issues falling asleep soon after.  Being in his presence was my safety net and I believed that despite the claps of thunder, I was protected.  I had peace.

            As I got older, running into his bed was no longer an option for me.  He got married, I grew older and then I eventually moved out.  Despite me growing up and moving on with my life, unfortunately my fear of thunderstorms has not left me.  If anything, the fear has intensified and is now worse than ever.

            During last night’s thunderstorm I found my self being abruptly awoken by a major clap of thunder.  My eyes flew open as big as saucers as I listened intently to the low rumbling of the thunder and the steady pattering of the rain on the pavement.  Slowly the rumbling faded and all I heard was the rain.  Now I was on edge.  I knew a clap of thunder was about to hit…this is the calm before the storm (pun intended).  As I sat anxiously waiting for it, I felt my breathing intensify and my mind racing. 

And I waited.

Then I waited some more.

Nothing.

            I turned over on my side and felt myself calming down.  I said a silent prayer to God to give me peace and as I felt myself fading off to sleep…

“BOOM!!!”

            “Augh!” I exclaimed!  I immediately pulled the covers up over my head and cowered in my bed, feeling myself panic as I tried desperately to hold back my tears.  A few more cracks of thunder hit, each one sending me into more intense hysterics.  I felt myself begin to lightly shake.  I was so embarrassed.  Am I not 24-years old, too grown to be freaking out over thunder?  Eventually the thunder quieted, the soothing sound of steadily falling rain took over and sleep finally found its way.

            I woke up this morning upset.  Upset that I’d had my sleep so violently interrupted and upset at myself for allowing thunder to remove me from my element.  Upon getting into work this morning, I reviewed the upcoming weather report for this week.  I breathed a major sigh of relief upon seeing that no more rain is expected to hit at nightfall (with the slight exception of tonight).  I was (heck, am!) prepared to make arrangements to sleep elsewhere, otherwise.  Elsewhere where I can have someone with me, that I’d feel safe with, so that the thunder can’t disturb me.

Does anyone else have issues with thunder or lightening?  I know I can’t be the only one that reacts to thunder like this!  At least I better not be.

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2 thoughts on “Confession: Thunder Terrifies Me

  1. Thunderstorms are calming to me for whatever reason. Listening to them puts my mind at ease and relaxes me. My bestfriend is terrified of them and still gets in bed with mom when there’s a storm. You can’t help what scares you regardless of age. Next time there is a storm you should try taking your mind to a safe calming place. I have a security blanket that comforts me when I’m anxious and scared.

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