Too “Far Away” For Me to Comprehend

            Marsha Ambrosius has been getting a LOT of love lately.  While this amazing singer started out as half of the English duo known as Floetry, she’s now become the most popular new solo artist out right now.  With the release of her debut album, Late Nights & Early Mornings this past Tuesday, she’s shed light on a very sensitive topic in the Black community.

Non-flamboyant, male homosexuality.

            Her second single from the album, “Far Away” speaks to a love that while starting off was burning strong but it has now faded-the other person is so far away.  It’s sad actually.  When listening to the melodic harmonies of the piano and Marsha’s soothing falsetto it carries you away to another place…she makes you remember that love that you may have shared with someone that now seems so far away…

 

            As I sing along with the lyrics, I always picture Marsha with her love, hanging out and vibing strong until one day life’s distractions tear them apart, despite Marsha fighting to hang on, in a desperate attempt to hold on to the loving memories she and her partner once shared. 

Then I saw the music video. 

OMGosh. 

 

            When picturing the song from Marsha’s point of view, the distraction to the relationship was a gay relationship.  Her man left her for another man!  Then, because of societal pressures, her ex-boyfriend committed suicide by overdosing on pills!?  Woooord!?

            I’m angry.  My heart is hurting for Marsha and severe anger towards the man.  How can you date women and men?  Why did you not figure that out before you decided to sweep a woman off of her feet?  The part that really got me is how the ex-boyfriend and his new boyfriend did not fit the stereotype of what “gay” looks like to me.  They had a nice swag in their step, dressed well and didn’t have “limp” wrists.  That’s scary because these are men that I see every day, that my girls and I date.  These are the men that are gay?  Or are straight until they try the other side and decide they like it better?  Or play both sides and sometimes tell us, and sometimes don’t? 

            Maybe I’m angry because it’s disrupted my idea of what “gay” is.  I don’t understand it (as I once believed I did) and do we not hate what we do not know?  She pushed the limits with this latest video and I’m now beyond uncomfortable.  I hate it. 

            A few of my followers on twitter are discussing the video today…many feel very sad and even shed a few tears.  I wonder if anyone else is actually angry about it like me though.

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7 thoughts on “Too “Far Away” For Me to Comprehend

  1. We struck up this conversation on twitter. Now that I am reading your viewpoint and take of the video, I can understand where you are coming from. I definitely think the video raises a few major issues prevalent in society today.
    First, I commend gay men who finally have the strength to admit their sexual preference. I do, however, agree with you that men should not play both sides. Had the video shown him living a double life, where he is sleeping or pursuing a relationship with a male and a female at the same time then I think I would feel your same angst and disgust. I personally only perceived the male being a platonic friend with her and in a sexual/loving relationship with the other male.
    Second, I am happy that the video is displaying and exhibiting the reality of the situation. There are A LOT of men out here living a double life. Most of them will not have a flamboyant or stereotypical appearance. DL men will have the “swag” and appearance of straight, heterosexual men. Women today have to be truly careful of who they decide to enter into monogamous relationships with.

    • Yeah I’m coming to realize that I had an inaccurate perception of the video-because I don’t really believe in men and women being “just friends” I saw them spending all that time together, cooking dinner, etc as them dating/being romantically involved. Up to this point however, I’ve been the only one that’s seen it that way. Oops, my bad lol.

      It is good that men are being upfront about it, but I guess I got stuck on the fact that I’m now no longer to see the homosexuality coming a mile away (cue Lawrence from RHOA lol)…these dudes are now guys that I could potentially find myself dating, loving and being serious with. That’s so scary to me.

  2. I think that the video leaves the “relationship” situation up for interpretation. It may seem that they used to be in a relationship but they could have always been friends. It doesn’t seem like Marsha was bitter about whatever happened between them, if they were once together. And I think the video brings to light the issues that the black community has about homosexuality and what it’s supposed to look at. Just like we get upset when people have a perception about what “black” is supposed to look like, how can we as a people be so narrow minded about those of a different sexual orientation. “Gay” doesn’t have a look, just as “black” does’t have a look. It seems to me that the guy in the video was placed in a real harsh situation because of his color and our (black peoples) view on homosexuality. I feel for him. He is in a community that does not accept him for who he is. And often try to suppress their feelings because of the society in which they live. I do not fault him for being scared to be who he is and I can see how it could be difficult to see positivity in his life. I think that its good that it made you uncomfortable. I think that was the point. We want people to accept us and not judge us but we dont do the same for others. I love the video.

    • There is definitely a double standard-that gay man being a minority, and me, myself being a minority; I want/need equality and acceptance yet I don’t want to give it to him. I have a lot of growing to do.

  3. You obviously weren’t hip to “The Real World: Philadelphia” when that dude Karamo (a regular brotha who seemed relatively normal (see: straight)) was on the cast. The Real World is known for always casting a gay cast member or two on their shows and there was one openly gay guy on there when the season first started and everyone figured that was it…until like episode 3 when homeboy (Karamo) decided to come out the closet, also. I instantly knew this was not a good look for myself and other brothas that are not homosexual, but will now be given a serious side eye by women who are now skeptical at every man for fear of them being on the “DL”. And I agree about not playing both sides of the fence, but would it honestly make it any better if he was cheating on you with another woman? On second thought…don’t answer that , lol.

    • That name Karamo sounds SO familiar…I’m sure I’ve seen it before, but I would need to see it again in order for my memory to be jarred.

      A few seasons later, in Boston I think, there was that Black guy Steven who smacked that girl Irene. I believe Steven was gay, wasn’t he?

      He was probably the first gay guy I saw who didn’t come off as “gay” initially.

  4. So sad… this guy was bullied for being gay. Unfortunately, his pain started way before this incident. We all take stands that we feel passionate about no matter the outcome. Unfortunately, there are boundaries we cross either willingly or unknowingly, that take us to a place of no return. Some lead to physical death and some lead to spiritual death….but death all the same. I might not understand the mind of anyone that thinks or acts different from me or outside of what I think is “normal”. But God commands that we love and treat everyone with respect. Love ya, Aunt Lynne

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