This is a rant…Do not judge me. Exclusively, my personal thoughts
One could say that late Feb/March has been busy for me. Within the last couple of weeks I’ve heard from three of my exes. They all are asking about the same thing, several times over, in many different ways. Ultimately, it looks something like this…
“Ashley, can you PLEASE give me another chance?!”
Heck no.
It’s all kind of ironic seeing as to how just a few years ago nothing would have delighted me more. I wouldn’t have been able to shout “Yes!” at the top of my lungs quick enough! At one point in time I think I could have pictured a happily ever after ending with each of them. Some I might have known I was settling to be with, but I was ok with that. Others I shed tears over, but to no avail. Ultimately, the relationships didn’t work and we went our separate ways. Here we are a few years later and after coming full circle they insist on asking that inevitable question…
“Well where do we go from here? Are you sure we can’t try again?”
Nowhere. And never.
There’s no looking back for me-I strive to move forward. Now that I think about it, I’ve never been one to give second chances. I’ve done it once in my life and I’m still waiting for the results to see if it was successful. I don’t believe in remaining friends and find it to be so problematic that these men believe that meeting for lunch or dinner to “catch up” is harmless. Despite saying that they understand my outlook and respect it, no they don’t. If they did, they wouldn’t ask for dinner, and they certainly wouldn’t insist on the age-old…
“But I’ve changed and have learned from my mistakes. You were amazing and I was such a fool-I took you for granted. I can honestly say I regret what happened between us.”
Really…?! Nah…
I will admit, the first time I heard that the icebox surrounding my heart began to melt a bit. Does that not sound so sincere? So earnest? So heartfelt and desperate? I loved seeing/hearing that emotion! I began to wonder if there had finally been a breakthrough. Was I the inspiration behind changing the man? Until I heard it again…and again…and again. Yes, I’ve heard it from four of them in total now. I’m wondering who the man is that has published this manual that they have all passed around and memorized. A friend of mine once said, “If it seems like a coincidence, it’s probably not.” They’re right. It’s not coincidental that four of my exes have hit me with the same “I’m sorry Ashley/I’ve changed/I want you back.” The only change that has occurred is the face of the woman they’re spitting the same sorry excuses too.
My only recommendation to these men who insist that they’ve changed is to put all of this emotion, effort and desire into the next relationship they find themselves in. Prayerfully she will never experience the hurt that I once knew with that same man.
I can see clearly now, the rain is gone; I can see all obstacles, in my way...
Fancy A. Yancey 
Good stuff cuz, if only we ALL thought this way 🙂
Took me a minute to get here though couso! And I miss you xoxo
Most people don’t know what they have till they lose it. Some find out in time to fix it.
Kinda feel sorry for thos dudes cuz I have been there. But its good u moved on to.
LOVE IT! I agree with Nate, most people don’t know what they had until it’s not there any more.
Smart and Beautiful! If I only had your knowledge at you age. Stand strong you are going in the right direction!!!!
I think it was the film a Bronx Tale where it was said you only get two-three true loves in life and dont fuck them up….
Yup, that was a Bronx Tale. I used to do “the test” from that movie alot when going out on dates, lol.
One could also say that they knew what they had, but just didn’t ever think they would lose it.
I feel you for the most part…. BUT
Some people do change over time and learn from their mistakes though. I’d like to think that a real relationship that had real substance and some real potential should be worth a second chance! There is a story to everything and a reason why things come to a end (even if temporarily) but if a person was worth a few good years once and something silly drove us apart hopefully in that time apart we learned from our mistakes and are able to apply it to future relationships.
If noone you have been with is worth a second chance EVER then you may not be making good picks to start with.