When I was 14 I was the nanny/babysitter for the *Smith family. Jessica had five children (including newborn twins) and I fit well into their dynamic. It wasn’t long before I was sitting for her two sisters and her brother as well. The relationship lasted for several years.
People would look at Jessica’s status as a single mother and wonder why she didn’t implement more forms of birth control (if any) or get her tubes tied because her children kept coming back-to-back. I got overwhelmed more than a few times, being a young teenager and having to deal with all of that chaos. I would look around and wonder, “Why does Ms. Jessica keep putting herself in this situation?” I myself stuck around because I had grown to love Ms. Jessica immensely (I looked to her like a big sister since she was only in her late 20s) and I was getting paid (a little money was better than no money at all).
Ms. Jessica must have read my thoughts (regarding all those freaking kids back-to-back) because one day she decided to give me the “birds and the bees” talk. At 14-years old I was greatful. To this day, it is the only talk I ever received.
“You know what Ashley?” she started off. “I love all of my children dearly and don’t know what I’d do without them. They are my heart. But it’s hard. It’s really hard.” She then began to elaborate on that a bit before getting to the juicy part of the conversation that I was anxiously anticipating. Sex!
“You haven’t had sex or anything yet have you?” She said. “No!” I replied with conviction, as I shook my head vigorously. “Okay, good. You see that chocolate cake over there?” She asked me as she motioned to a halfway eaten birthday cake. I nodded. “Sex is like chocolate cake. If you’ve never had chocolate cake before you don’t know what you’re missing. You’ve heard it tastes good and all that but you’re able to resist it cuz you’ve never had it. But once you have it, then you want it bad. Sometimes you get cravings. And then when you see the cake sitting there, it’s hard to say no.”
I understood. That made perfect sense to me. For several years after that I always correlated sex to chocolate cake. When opportunities arose I would always think, “I can eat other things than chocolate cake. I can say no. There’s other things out there.” That comparison saved me on more than a number of occassions (no 16 and Pregnant over this way). Thank you Ms. Jessica.