This transition in NYC has been BY FAR the most challenging that I’ve had in a long time. People keep asking how do I like it/am I going to stay/what’s next/etc. My response is always, “I’m literally taking it day by day.” Some days are great, others are okay; occassionally I have bad days and on these days I get especially homesick.
One of those occassional days was about two weeks ago. I don’t remember what specifically happened that day, other than I was feeling especially emotional and wanted nothing more than to wake up and drive to the Insurance Warehouse and spend the day working
and talking/gossiping with one of my best friends, my dad. I wanted to talk to him about work, a new business I’m in the developing stages of and vent to him about all the things that have been on my mind. But I couldn’t. I wanted to hear his ridiculous jokes/stories and watch him burst into a laugh that’s louder and more obnoxious than mine ever could be, but I couldn’t. And at the end of the work day if I’d stayed in the office late, I wanted to go next door and grab him his pack of beer and watch him drink some of it while we chatted about randomness for another hour…but I couldn’t.
But I could do one thing. And that one thing was send an email that did all of that.
So I sent Dad a SUPER long email about all kinds of stuff. At one point I vented about how I’d been feeling about NYC (on that day in that moment)…
NYC is not what I thought it would be. I don’t LOVE it. I don’t even like it. I merely tolerate it for the life experience I’m gaining from it. Everyone needs to leave “home” at some point in their life and see what the rest of the world could possibly be like…you tried Chi-town, I’m trying NYC…I don’t know if I can last the 6 months you did though…I’ve met some cool people and have begun to go out and find things to get into. Despite all this I miss the comforts of home. Everyone says it takes a full year to get settled in but honestly, I don’t have the patience for a year. I’m not with that. Lol, you know me! Right now I take all of this day by day, literally. For all I know come September I could be thinking opposite and be ready to live here for the next couple of years. But what if my mind remains where it is?
Unfortunately, that email got Daddy all worried and concerned. As a result he responded with tons of positive energy, encouragement and love. Today I’m not feeling like the spirit of the email that was sent. I’ve been on an excellent high streak and have been making some serious moves in a positive direction. Some great connections are being made and I’m pretty optimistic for my future. I believe in me. Whenever I even think to feel slightly down, I remember these important words he shared with me…
I don’t remember if I told you this—-back in the day—-I must of had at least 20-30 jobs—the way I figured—-I must be getting closer—cause there ain’t many jobs left—lol——this was my TRIAL & ERROR period of my life….Don’t rush it—it is closer than you think…..Well, enough of my rambling….I’m very proud of you….and I love you DEEPLY—-you will always be my LITTLE GIRL, you best believe…….and with this final point….this is all I want from you……BELIEVE IN YOURSELF…….this is the only GIFT I want from you….Believe in You……
Daddy, your baby girl is okay
thanks to his email and support because I could not do this alone!
But you know what, deep down I think he already knows I will be.
I love you.