Not long ago I found myself in unchartered waters within a relationship I’ve semi-recently found myself in. Where was this place you may ask?
There I was waking up at a decent hour (#NoFreaky, you perverts) with him still knocked out and knew there was no way I could lay around all day pretending to be fake-asleep. I needed to get up and moving, but I wasn’t ready for goodbyes yet either. My solution?
“Listen, I have an idea. How about I run to the grocery store and cook breakfast?”
As soon as the words left my mouth, my insides were filled with dread. While yes I can cook, I don’t cook for men and even if I did, I definitely don’t cook breakfast-I cook dinner. It also doesn’t help that he is a phenomenal cook himself-his spaghetti puts me to sleep within minutes of consumption. In my thirst to spend more time, I had wandered into foreign territory. Fortunately, as I took off to the grocery store I was able to form a loose menu in my head that was surprisingly easy to execute once I found myself back in the kitchen among familiarity.
“Breakfast is finished!” I cheerfully called out to him in my goofy sing-song voice. “Do you want a biscuit with your plate?”
I didn’t realize it until after I handed over his plate how much I had overfilled it. In my nervous haste, I had piled the food on until it fully covered the plate in heaping mounds. It was WAY too much for one person to eat.
“This looks amazing. Watch. I bet I eat all of it,” he assured me. I nervously smiled back. He was making some awfully big promises to not have tasted even one bite.
To take my mind off of trying not to get caught watching his reaction as he ate my cooking, I scooped some of the sugared berries into a bowl to nibble on. While he was sure to let me know he enjoyed his first few bites, he also noticed I wasn’t eating much (which is completely unlike me). “That’s all you’re gonna eat?” “Yeah, I’m not really hungry after cooking all of that,” I lied.
About 20 minutes later of dead silence I finally heard him put his fork down. I glanced at his plate in bewilderment. He had eaten about 95% of ALLLLL that food I had heaped on his plate…four scrambled eggs, four slices of bacon, several spoonfuls of sugared berries and two heaps of hashbrowns!
“That was so good. This is probably going to be the only thing I eat today. Thank you so much!”
Yall that man ate my cooking! Ladies, is that NOT one of the best non-verbal compliments you can receive?