Ladies (And Fellas), Name Your Price

Several months ago during a Yancey family debate, Grandma Yancey got incredibly offended by my assertion that marriage is a form of institutionalized prostitution (lol).  She reflected on her own marriage of 50+ years with Papa as being nothing less than a union of true love with her soul mate and best friend.  While I do believe that what she and Papa shared was as pure and innocent as she says it is, there’s also no denying that Papa was the chief breadwinner.  Grandma obviously cost Papa a pretty penny, holding down that household, taking care of home…

I wish Papa would have been there to hear our family’s conversation.  I’d so have loved to hear his outlook.  While Grandma cost Papa a pretty penny, Papa was an expensive acquisition himself!  He was a few years  older than Grandma so he’d had time to gain popularity.  Known as a hardworker, he was incredibly attractive.  She had to put in WORK to peg the man as her own.

Bringing this relationship-tradeoff into current day,  I now realize that everything I allow to happen in any of my romantic relationships comes at a cost.  The question is, how much am I charging?

I used to step innocently into relationships assuming that anyone I was dealing with was going to be of pure intentions and want the best for me and them.  I wasn’t counting down how many dates we’d had, how much money had been spent or how much time had transpired.  “Why would I need to?” I naively thought?  Surely we were both going with the flow, enjoying the ride, right?  If I was feeling the situation, I would agree to be exclusive with them, be in a relationship with them, or bring them around my friends, etc.  The list goes on.  I thought this way until…

Social networking.

It was on social networking that I began seeing men talk about gaming women, giving arbitrary means of measurements to gauge where they stood with her…how much did she cost them?  Things like, “I just met her last week and she’s already sleeping over.  I bet I get her to____ soon.”  Or even, “I took her to this nice little spot to get her to warm up to me.”  Lastly, “She’s already done ALL of these things without me putting in much work so I’m over her now.  Who’s next?!”


I consider things MUCH more carefully now.  When meeting someone new I will only tolerate texts for so long until phone conversations need to take place.  Phone calls will only last for so long until it’s time to link up.  Call me snobby, but I’d prefer the first date to not be at Starbucks-save that for date two or three after you’ve already had a chance to establish you’re not-a-cheapskate-but-do-enjoy-the-simple-things.  The list goes on…

All of that to say…

Nothing is free.  Every single woman has a price.  Papa paid HEAVILY to be able to have my lively, dramatic Grandma on his arm!  The fabulous frenzy of pearls, furs, dinner parties, strong backbone of emotional/mental/physical support, vacations, four children and the warm-spirited home were not cheap!  One day, when/if I get married, I can only pray that my price is close to what my Grandma charged-I’d love to look forward to a lifetime of love with my soul mate…with 50+ years of happily ever after tucked in our back pockets.

50th Wedding Anniversary


One thought on “Ladies (And Fellas), Name Your Price

  1. Pingback: For the Ladies: Evaluating Priorities vs. Preferences « From Ashy to Classy

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